Their separate journeys

2015/06/04 at 11:29 am

The skies were blue, clear blue with not a cloud in it. Mountains were in the distance, familiar yet foreign. To me, they were paintings I could not touch and only see. I stood back down from the seven inch wall heater and looked away from the window. As I made my way out of the bathroom, I heard someone mumbling downstairs amidst the sound of the television. My father was in the family room, watching television, while my mother was cooking dinner. All that was on my mind was how nice the blue skies were and what laid beyond […]

Mah Mee Ya

2015/06/04 at 11:13 am

“Mah Mee Ya” is what I call my mom. Sometimes, I call her “Mah Mee”, but I normally don’t because it sounds a bit childish to me, even though I am still a child in many ways. The most common thing I hear my friends or anyone say is “Mom” or “Ma”. My wife thinks that it’s cute that I call my mom “Mah Mee Ya” and wants to call her that one day as well. I smiled when she told me that, but there is also a part of me that is sad. Life is like a very rocky […]

Digging Around in the Dark

2014/10/16 at 2:24 am

While I was digging around in the dark in Minecraft, a memory surfaced of when I was a teenager or when I was in my early twenty’s. In my memory, in a previous night, my mom had thought she convinced me to go to dim sum with her, my dad and my brother. Then the next morning came and I told her I didn’t want to go anymore because I didn’t feel like it. At the time, my mom was already dressed and had walked into my room to wake me up and heard me say that. She responded disappointingly, […]

Stuff I am going to do

2014/10/15 at 11:42 pm

The title of this post is inspired by the Disney/Pixar movie “Up”. I’m actually watching it as I type out this entry. I’m at the point where they just got married and doing various things together, like lying down and watching cloud babies. Then they… Well for those who haven’t watched it yet, I won’t ruin it for you. …… Wow, that was so sad. It immediately made me thought, “I love you, wife.” Okay, maybe it’s a bad idea to watch it while I try to type out this post. ^_^ Haha, this part is actually pretty funny. I […]

Far and wide

2014/10/13 at 6:04 am

The emphasize here is that I enjoyed my time at Calgary with Uncle Dick and Jason back at the end of February 2014. Somewhere inside of me was a man that enjoyed every moment of it, but at the same time, a large part of that man was filled with worry, anxiety, depression and everything that brought him down. Not long ago, I met with Tom after a long time. He wanted some coffee, so as we walked up the street, I stopped him and told him that in the past, I was numb to the feelings of others, while […]


2014/07/02 at 2:02 am

I do not know when I first heard fireworks, but I can remember it was 1989, December 31st, near midnight and I looked out my small bedroom window thinking, “It is finally another decade.” I was 10 at the time and a mere two weeks short of my 11th birthday. It was not necessarily a moment to tell myself life will get tougher, but I have a feeling it was a moment of wonderment. I always looked toward the future as if it was a painting that I needed to uncover. I have uncovered it and found that there is […]

Another chance at it all

2014/06/30 at 8:42 pm

One of my favorite movies is The Young Victoria. It’s based on the overall story of Queen Victoria, from her time before being queen to when she married Prince Albert. I have watched that movie about three dozen times in a period of just a little over two years. “Is it that good?” Well, yes of course, but I think there is a more sub-conscious reason which I thought about some moments ago after I watched the movie again. I think it is a life that I would like to have with my wife Amber. Not necessarily being Royals, but […]

Random Romance Postcard Campaign

2014/03/29 at 1:43 am

Since about two months ago, I had planned a Random Romance Postcard Campaign, but the postcards I ordered didn’t come in on time. So almost two weeks ago, I started it in which I send my wife over in Germany postcards separated by days determined by the roll of a ten sided die. How this works is that once I mail a postcard out, I give it a buffer time of seven days on top of whatever I rolled on the die. So if I rolled a “5”, then it will be 7 + 5 = 12 days later that […]

The Grudge

2014/03/28 at 12:38 am

You might not realize this but that image above is the anime version of the girl in The Grudge. I don’t care what you say. She is and that’s final! ^_~ I used to adore horror films. I’m not talking about the gory kind. I’m talking about the freaky kind that creeps me out for years and years and years. However, as I got older, the more unyielding I got about entertainment. I now enjoy things that I didn’t normally like when I was younger and the things I used to do, no longer is a part of the mundanity […]

Grant me three wishes

2014/01/24 at 4:56 pm

Reference: A Little Bit Of This A couple of nights ago, I hand wrote an apology letter to Albert. Then I went to Benny’s house at 8pm and asked him if he could help me hand deliver it to him because I had a feeling Albert would rip up my letter if I had mailed it to him. Two days went by and today, just suddenly out of the blue, I wanted to call him and apologize immediately. So I scoured my old emails, phone books, online phone directories and other places, looking for old contact numbers since my old […]

A little bit of this…

2014/01/22 at 10:20 pm

…and a little bit of that. The various somewhat recent stuff and things from Tom and Sam has rubbed off on me and gradually, I came to this point:

Falling in love

2014/01/10 at 4:22 am

Temptation is a huge nuisance, even though it is also used as a driving point to achieve goals. Something reminds me constantly that no matter the distance, no matter whether my wife is near or on a different planet, that when I asked her to marry me, it meant that I am exclusively hers. I confess that this far distance and the troubles that come with distance has set me on a wobbly path leading down to acting upon temptation, but here’s the thing, the universe it seems has always looked out for me, no matter how insignificant I may […]

Not there when I should be

2013/12/11 at 4:31 pm

In the past, when I was with Cindy, she told me that I wasn’t there with her when her mom was in the hospital. That was back in the beginning of 2005. This one stuck with me since then. Recently, my wife told me she wished I was at the funeral with her when her family attended a funeral for her aunt’s daughter, whom died from a miscarriage. That made me feel very down because I should have been there and it reminded me of what Cindy told me. In my mind, sometimes, I imagine if my mom or my […]

Counting out

2013/09/28 at 8:36 pm
Amber and Lee's wedding 2013 September 6th, Patrick Leung Photography

I find myself catching the calendar dates every now and then. I think to myself: “Two weeks ago today, I left Germany and have arrived back home already. I would be sleeping at around this time.” Last weekend, I also thought: “Two weeks ago, Amber and I got married. One week ago, I left Germany. Three weeks ago, I was on a plane to Frankfurt.” I tend to do that a lot on things memorable and meaningful to me. Whenever I am left alone downstairs in the kitchen where the calendar is, I would look back on the dates then […]

Quiet Mourning

2013/01/28 at 2:07 am

Well my G-Ma passed away last morning. No one was ever close to her, but she was someone I admired and respected due to the hardships of raising 7 kids on her own during the 1940’s to 1970’s. I am glad my mom saw her just a little over a month ago and got spend some time together. For so long, I worried that my mom wouldn’t be able to take it, considering how she normally is, but at the end, she ‘shrugged’ it off saying it’s sad, but decades has passed and life gets tiring for the old. It’s […]

Zoomed out, way out

2013/01/24 at 3:30 am

I’m sure many people have come to a point in their relationships where they wonder where it’s going and wonder where their partners place them in the bigger picture of things. In my years playing the flirtation and intimacy game, this one thing has never crossed my mind until my relationship with Amber. More frequently, this one thing hasn’t crossed my mind more clearly until the recent months. On one hand, I have my pride and past glory. On the other, I have submitted to the very thing I despise. People might think that pride is just unnecessary personal ego […]

Madhu actually wished me a happy birthday!

2013/01/13 at 9:52 pm

Just 6 minutes of fun fun fun! Bonus points to where “fun fun fun!” came from. That annoyed me every single dinner time for that one week. Oops, I want to apologize for the terrible audio quality. My mic’s volume was too high and so there is a lot of cracking noise. So turn down your volume before you press play. Get the latest Flash Player to see this player. [Javascript required to view Flash movie, please turn it on and refresh this page]

The Bunches of Oats

2013/01/13 at 1:20 am

It’s amazing how long I’ve had this category on the side. It’s named after a cereal that I remember from my youth. Shaddup Pat! It means from the 1980’s and 1990’s! So I have wanted to do this for years now, but never got around doing it and honestly, never felt like I truly wanted to until recently. More specifically until this hour when it’s way passed my bed time. Ah phooey! Here is a list of the people I’ll be talking about over the next few weeks. In no particular order: – Laura Y. – Jon T. – Thomas […]

Right Click when it Bloops

2012/12/14 at 7:06 pm

I know it has been a SUPER DUPER long time since I posted an entry, let alone a fun entry. Yeah, I did away with the log-in. That is why if it seems you need your comments to be approved first, it’s because the system didn’t recognize you as a member. Fortunately, so long as you use the same email when you post, your second and future comments will automatically be approved. Anyway, this entry will be a mix of my thoughts and feelings, as well as some fun stuff that happened recently. Let’s start off with a few pictures […]

My dreams are growing old

2012/07/03 at 1:38 am

Erica was worried and had emailed me a few weeks ago asking where my blog went and what happened to me. I gave her a vague answer and restored my blog yesterday. I get into bouts of uncertainty and wish to ‘end it all’ from time to time. Fortunately, I am not as impulsive as I once was, but I am still impulsive at times. Tune: “The Truth” by Headstrong feat. Tiff Lacey (Reuben Halsey Chillout Remix) Mood: Tired Drink: Catnip tea with some honey [Audio clip: view full post to listen] The lyrics to this song goes like this: […]